Last day of April vacation . . .
- Taught Ainye about 12 Girls Band Ode to Bach
- Made a self-care template to deal with after effects of emotional abuse
- Had a couple screwdrivers with J
- Went to India Point Park with Ainye; took a gamble and forced myself to sit for a picture. It was awesome.
- Went to Attleboro Community Garden. Planted eggplant, lettuce, cauliflower, cabbage
- Made dinner. Used aspargus and scallions from our home garden - first of the season.
- Realized that trees outside have burst into bloom suddenly.
- Packed up the "pack pack" and lunch box for Imani's first day at PRESCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
So it's been forever, and I've let things slide, but . . .
Okay. Here I am - back to the task.
New things I've done today -
1. Made finger food night dinner with my toddler (who's THREE now)
2. made cucumber and carrot maki
3. Had a candlelight dinner with J after the baby went to sleep (the works - his Kenyan stuff, my allergen free vegan stuff, fruit, wine, cards, etc)
4. Gave my niece on online lecture on posting on Facebook.
5. Tossed ideas around about flow, open space technology, and avenues of collaboration in public schools
6. hung a clothesline outside
7. organized a junk drawer by putting plastic bins in
8. did my makeup with purple shades - not a big fan; lipstick still too dark
That's enough new stuff. Can't wait for tomorrow - last day of romantic February vacation AND I finally get the first stripe of my black belt.
New things I've done today -
1. Made finger food night dinner with my toddler (who's THREE now)
2. made cucumber and carrot maki
3. Had a candlelight dinner with J after the baby went to sleep (the works - his Kenyan stuff, my allergen free vegan stuff, fruit, wine, cards, etc)
4. Gave my niece on online lecture on posting on Facebook.
5. Tossed ideas around about flow, open space technology, and avenues of collaboration in public schools
6. hung a clothesline outside
7. organized a junk drawer by putting plastic bins in
8. did my makeup with purple shades - not a big fan; lipstick still too dark
That's enough new stuff. Can't wait for tomorrow - last day of romantic February vacation AND I finally get the first stripe of my black belt.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Falling, falling
i've crashed and burned since summer came to a close and i returned to work. Forgot to keep life centered and balanced. Became tired and forgot about doing something new every day.
So to start again - a reflection on the discipline of speech:
Speak the truth at all cost. Speak a little. Speak sweetly. Always utter encouraging words. Never condemn, criticize or discourage. Do not raise your voice and shout at little children or subordinates.
So to recenter, i have goal that need to be met this week. I have completely lost my center, so to start with the basics:
- no more nicotine
- continue on without coffee
- reduce caffeine back to no more than one drink per day for now
- resume whole food vegan diet
- drink more water
- keep on top of health issues / don't miss pills
- resume meditation
- tae kwon do, running, or other class daily
New things i have done today:
- spoke swahili with my daughter
- started education blog with my students
- had a pumpkin party with students
- stuck up for myself at work
- listened to my daughter sing soul sista - all the words this time
So to start again - a reflection on the discipline of speech:
Speak the truth at all cost. Speak a little. Speak sweetly. Always utter encouraging words. Never condemn, criticize or discourage. Do not raise your voice and shout at little children or subordinates.
So to recenter, i have goal that need to be met this week. I have completely lost my center, so to start with the basics:
- no more nicotine
- continue on without coffee
- reduce caffeine back to no more than one drink per day for now
- resume whole food vegan diet
- drink more water
- keep on top of health issues / don't miss pills
- resume meditation
- tae kwon do, running, or other class daily
New things i have done today:
- spoke swahili with my daughter
- started education blog with my students
- had a pumpkin party with students
- stuck up for myself at work
- listened to my daughter sing soul sista - all the words this time
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Becoming a lamp - post
Today's lesson on the Vedanta said that "Our life can be like a lamp-post; travellers pass and find their path revealed." I am happy, because my major new thing for today was that i was a lamp - post - to my husband, which is wonderful because he's one of my two favorites (my husband and my daughter), and he is such an inspiration to me that i didn't think i could inspire him. He was inspired by my new found interests in my health, with exercising and eating right and what not. He talked this evening about how good he felt going back to the gym and exercising and setting goals for mph biking and meeting them and how happy it made him. My Julius, who lamented being too skinny forever until his stomach popped up out of nowhere. Not big - i think most people wouldn't notice - it's not flabby and he's not overweight. But it made him sort of sad. But now he saw me running and doing things i labelled impossible and taking care of what i eat and going vegetarian, and he is doing it, too.
Other wonderful new things for today -
#1 Decided to ditch the car, walk to the farther YMCA, and take Ainyatta swimming. She adored the stroller ride. We talked about the moon, and planes, and trucks. She is really excited about motorcycles today.
#2 In the pool, i went "upside down" for her, and she squealed with delight and asked for it over and over. i went underwater and did "fish" and she was happy about that as well. For the first time, I also put her both on my back, and on my knees while floating on my back and pulled her around the pool.
#3 I cleaned the basement of our house for the first time ever. Gross.
#4 Joined J at the gym this morning while Yatta was at camp. Did some weights.
#5 In response to a question i was afraid to ask - to ask my first human research participant to communicate via skype - got a positive response.
Yesterday -
#1 i ate a bananas foster. i like the rum sauce.
#2 Listened to Eminem's new Recovery album. He put a lot of heart and raw emotion into this one, and i analyzed it through Peter Walker's four F responses of trauma victims.
#3 Got a postiive response to my first person to person interview request - from Mrs. Thornton.
Other wonderful new things for today -
#1 Decided to ditch the car, walk to the farther YMCA, and take Ainyatta swimming. She adored the stroller ride. We talked about the moon, and planes, and trucks. She is really excited about motorcycles today.
#2 In the pool, i went "upside down" for her, and she squealed with delight and asked for it over and over. i went underwater and did "fish" and she was happy about that as well. For the first time, I also put her both on my back, and on my knees while floating on my back and pulled her around the pool.
#3 I cleaned the basement of our house for the first time ever. Gross.
#4 Joined J at the gym this morning while Yatta was at camp. Did some weights.
#5 In response to a question i was afraid to ask - to ask my first human research participant to communicate via skype - got a positive response.
Yesterday -
#1 i ate a bananas foster. i like the rum sauce.
#2 Listened to Eminem's new Recovery album. He put a lot of heart and raw emotion into this one, and i analyzed it through Peter Walker's four F responses of trauma victims.
#3 Got a postiive response to my first person to person interview request - from Mrs. Thornton.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Today, today: What have i done that i've never done before?
Today I:
Learned the eidan and montumon (spelling is all wrong) and was actually able to do them.
I did relay races with my daughter up the jungle gym and down the slides.
I ran through the park with my daughter - she's getting pretty fast.
Transplanted a plum tree. Soaked the roots.
I sat on the river behind the library with Ainye and taught her the word "dragon flies".
Read Ainye Goodnight Moon. She was stunned into silence. The second reading, she was right back to shouting. Discrete trialed the letter sounds a, f, s, and t. Practiced counting to 4. Looked at the word book. Was fascinated that she knew all of the animal pages words.
Learned the montage 1,000 days makes you a beginner; 10, 000 days makes you a master.
Played a real yahtzee tourney with J.
And what about yesterday?
Taught Ainye the word armpit.
Asked teachers I don't know to participate in my research. Well, only one. But it was a leap.
Went out with Diana P. before she goes to Dubai. Reflected on old times and went appropriately bar hopping (a first). First time we got real with each other on an emotional plain and shared real stuff.
Learned the eidan and montumon (spelling is all wrong) and was actually able to do them.
I did relay races with my daughter up the jungle gym and down the slides.
I ran through the park with my daughter - she's getting pretty fast.
Transplanted a plum tree. Soaked the roots.
I sat on the river behind the library with Ainye and taught her the word "dragon flies".
Read Ainye Goodnight Moon. She was stunned into silence. The second reading, she was right back to shouting. Discrete trialed the letter sounds a, f, s, and t. Practiced counting to 4. Looked at the word book. Was fascinated that she knew all of the animal pages words.
Learned the montage 1,000 days makes you a beginner; 10, 000 days makes you a master.
Played a real yahtzee tourney with J.
And what about yesterday?
Taught Ainye the word armpit.
Asked teachers I don't know to participate in my research. Well, only one. But it was a leap.
Went out with Diana P. before she goes to Dubai. Reflected on old times and went appropriately bar hopping (a first). First time we got real with each other on an emotional plain and shared real stuff.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Muhan
Friday July 16
What's new today?
#1 Well, after puking up the falafel i made last night, i tried a new format for cooking it that does not involve deep frying - just baking flat cakes on the griddle. Will let you know how it comes out.
#2 I made absolutely no attempt to drink diet soda today.
#3 At my tae kwon do class, for the first time ever, I was instructed to teach someone else an entire poomsae, or form. i also really worked on my side kicks and finally got my right leg ones to hit dead on. i used to hit the target, but with the slightly inverted side of my foot, so i didn't get the power.
#4 I told my counselor linda that i am trying to rise above my perceptions of reality. i told her about peter walker and his proposed four responses which she was interested in, i told her about the things i didn't see before - that m had lied to me constanlty and i believed she never lied even though i know research says that people lie an average of 7 times per hour. i told her about walker's descriptions of emotional flashbacks and how i now realized that i've been having constant ones for years. we discussed quantum physics and the limitations of knowledge. i thought she'd tell me to get a new job, away from m, but she actually said it might be time to consider rising above reality by finding a way to deal head on with m while protecting myself. she said there will always be an m to contend with and it might be time to stop running. so i asked for her to help me learn how to do TAPAS at home, as that is extremely effective.
#5 My daughter Ainye and i made gluten free brownie bites and served them up with scoops of vanilla ice cream. Took a latenight walk for wine and ice cream with my husband. i am so in love with the two of them.
#6 Practiced tae kwon do in the backyard, even though i was a bit embarassed. Really liked the outside feature a lot.
All in all, it was a great day.
What's new today?
#1 Well, after puking up the falafel i made last night, i tried a new format for cooking it that does not involve deep frying - just baking flat cakes on the griddle. Will let you know how it comes out.
#2 I made absolutely no attempt to drink diet soda today.
#3 At my tae kwon do class, for the first time ever, I was instructed to teach someone else an entire poomsae, or form. i also really worked on my side kicks and finally got my right leg ones to hit dead on. i used to hit the target, but with the slightly inverted side of my foot, so i didn't get the power.
#4 I told my counselor linda that i am trying to rise above my perceptions of reality. i told her about peter walker and his proposed four responses which she was interested in, i told her about the things i didn't see before - that m had lied to me constanlty and i believed she never lied even though i know research says that people lie an average of 7 times per hour. i told her about walker's descriptions of emotional flashbacks and how i now realized that i've been having constant ones for years. we discussed quantum physics and the limitations of knowledge. i thought she'd tell me to get a new job, away from m, but she actually said it might be time to consider rising above reality by finding a way to deal head on with m while protecting myself. she said there will always be an m to contend with and it might be time to stop running. so i asked for her to help me learn how to do TAPAS at home, as that is extremely effective.
#5 My daughter Ainye and i made gluten free brownie bites and served them up with scoops of vanilla ice cream. Took a latenight walk for wine and ice cream with my husband. i am so in love with the two of them.
#6 Practiced tae kwon do in the backyard, even though i was a bit embarassed. Really liked the outside feature a lot.
All in all, it was a great day.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
The Week in Review - Rising to the Challenge
Last Sunday i said to myself "i cannot run more than a mile and a quarter without stopping. i can't breathe. i have always been a failure at running, and i will never be able to finish a road race."
After meditating on that thought, along with the additional truth that the mind is a vicious captor, i went to the track with my husband and daughter.
i cannot run more than a mile and a quarter.
i cannot breathe.
i am a failure.
i will never run a road race without shame.
i started to run. It was grueling. i slowed my pace to turtle speed. It seemed impossible. At a mile and quarter, i said you are running two miles. i said no, i can't, i won't, it's not possible. The mind will never allow the body to excel if given half the chance. i started looking at the track markings. Would you run 100 meters to reach your goal? Yes. 100 more? Yes. At a mile and a half, my stride automatically lengthened, and i started to fly. As i closed in on the second mile, i realized i wasn't tired. i wanted to keep going, but my family was waiting for me.
New thing for the day: Ran 2 miles without stopping. Also finished building a raised garden and securing it from the invading possums.
Monday: Today you are running 3 miles. Goal reached. Again - not tired.
New thing for today: Ran 3 miles without stopping.
Tuesday: cross training. Did Body Pump in the morning, and Tae Kwon Do in the evening.
New thing for the day: Learned Muhan Kick #6. Felt confident doing Taeguk Yuk Jon. First time going to Body Pump.
Wednesday: My arms are in total pain. Moved slowly. Took a couple of walks. Went bowling with my husband and daughter.
New thing for the day: Started blogging on my reflections on the Vedanta. Watched Ainye and J sit on the floor of the alley and watch her ball roll towards the pins at 1.6 miles per hour.
Thursday: Right arm stuck in place from Body Pump. Took the day off entirely with the exception of a few walks. Have decided to run a half marathon by September, if training allows.
New thing for the day: Made fresh falafel from scratch. Played Monkeys in the Bed with Ainye and Julius. Taught Julius how to play Yahtzee. Went with Ainye for our first swim in the Pleasant Street Pool. Ainye took her first few arms strokes and learned how to float on her back. Then barfed from swallowing water :(
After meditating on that thought, along with the additional truth that the mind is a vicious captor, i went to the track with my husband and daughter.
i cannot run more than a mile and a quarter.
i cannot breathe.
i am a failure.
i will never run a road race without shame.
i started to run. It was grueling. i slowed my pace to turtle speed. It seemed impossible. At a mile and quarter, i said you are running two miles. i said no, i can't, i won't, it's not possible. The mind will never allow the body to excel if given half the chance. i started looking at the track markings. Would you run 100 meters to reach your goal? Yes. 100 more? Yes. At a mile and a half, my stride automatically lengthened, and i started to fly. As i closed in on the second mile, i realized i wasn't tired. i wanted to keep going, but my family was waiting for me.
New thing for the day: Ran 2 miles without stopping. Also finished building a raised garden and securing it from the invading possums.
Monday: Today you are running 3 miles. Goal reached. Again - not tired.
New thing for today: Ran 3 miles without stopping.
Tuesday: cross training. Did Body Pump in the morning, and Tae Kwon Do in the evening.
New thing for the day: Learned Muhan Kick #6. Felt confident doing Taeguk Yuk Jon. First time going to Body Pump.
Wednesday: My arms are in total pain. Moved slowly. Took a couple of walks. Went bowling with my husband and daughter.
New thing for the day: Started blogging on my reflections on the Vedanta. Watched Ainye and J sit on the floor of the alley and watch her ball roll towards the pins at 1.6 miles per hour.
Thursday: Right arm stuck in place from Body Pump. Took the day off entirely with the exception of a few walks. Have decided to run a half marathon by September, if training allows.
New thing for the day: Made fresh falafel from scratch. Played Monkeys in the Bed with Ainye and Julius. Taught Julius how to play Yahtzee. Went with Ainye for our first swim in the Pleasant Street Pool. Ainye took her first few arms strokes and learned how to float on her back. Then barfed from swallowing water :(
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